Thursday, January 25, 2007

...and i think its gonna rain today...

i think tonightis going to be the end of my longest, bestest relationship. i'm at work and i'm sad and distracted. if i can make it through the next half hour i won't have to come in early tomorrow...which is good because i haven't been sleeping. i've never had this problem before...where i had to walk away from probably the only man i've ever trusted because i'm not making his list of priorities. and there isn't much room for working it out or talking it over when your told "don't question me"...what the hell are you supposed to do with that? i keep thinking of this old ben harper song where he says...

and its so hard to do
and so easy to say
but sometimes, sometimes
you have to walk away

ain't that the truth! i feel like i'm slowly being swallowed alive by my life these days...the job, the bf...i need a pause button. who knows , maybe he'll suprise me and suddenly start to appreciate what he has and give me the time and attention i deserve...but my alter-ego is winning out on this one. i've always said if i was native american my name would be Jumps to Bad Conclusions. she's all kinds of incharge today.

heres to me not giving my bf enough credit and him suprising me and choosing me and all that shit. and heres to another sleepless night.

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