happy fucking valentine's day

i hate valentine's day. if you don't have "someone special" you feel like a big pile of shit looser. and if you do have someone to hang with it's this loaded gun of a day where you think this person is going to do everything to make you feel special. but they don't. or maybe they try to but it's not what you were expecting. or maybe they show up 1.5 hours late and think theres nothing wrong with that. or maybe the card doesn't have the word "love" in it. or maybe the flowers aren't fresh. or maybe the sex isn't great. maybe its just like every other day.

i made a plan that i was going to give myself a home-spa night.

and then i sent myself flowers on behalf of the x, who i'm still messing with for whatever reason, because i knew he would wait until the last minute and i'd end up with nothing or half dead whatevers from the drug store thats en route to my house. he actually liked the idea. schmuck. then i asked if he would come over so we could hang out. i haven't seen him in probably a month. he said ok.

the day before (wednesday) he tells me he's made plans with some friend of his to help him move shit from his old place to his new place after spending time with me. even though that pisses me off i figure its fine cause it gives me time to pamper myself...which was the original plan.

so yesterday i got the roses i sent to myself and they were a little beat up but still nice. then everyone in my office kept commenting on how lovely they were and how nice to have someone think of me and blah blah blah. they quickly changed their tunes when i told them i was the one who ordered them. then i left work early because we were supposed to meet at my house at 5. well, 5 came and went and he didn't come until 6:30. with a card that had "irene" written on it. that is not my name. apparently its his "nickname" for me. even though he never told me that or even called me that. he even has that in his cell phone for my number. so you try explaining to an african that "irene" is a womans name and that its not appropriate to put another womans name on a valentines card. and its not okay to show up an hour and a half late on vday. and it doesn't matter whether or not we're a couple...you're supposed to respect peoples time!

but i digress...

the night was a bust. i drank a whole bottle of wine and he drank the champagne. by the end of both our bottles we were civil to each other. how romantic.